I would like to blame my fever and asthma for the events that happened this evening. I don't know if I should have made those statements. But it has made me look foolish in every sense of the word. How can we run away from ghosts of the past if we keep resurrecting them in our minds?
First real argument today. I am not the type of person who confronts people. I am usually laid back and let people just run over me. But why? Why did I let this small inkling of doubt get hold of me to the point that I have hurt the person I love the most?
I hope and pray that this will not affect our relationship. I don't want to lose him.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Antibiotcs..Again?!?
My asthma has made a big comeback these past few months. I didn't mind at first because my job or company has provided us with a health card. So going to the doctor and having tests done means that I don't have to shell out money.
It was with some pride that I lost thirty pounds and four dress sizes around May to June of this year. I was able to keep the pounds off the latter part of the year, but when my asthma attacks came back, I started gaining weight again. I guess it's because of all the steroids that are in the drugs that I am taking that is making me gain weight. Plus the stresses of my job. So, I have now gained back those thirty pounds that I have lost.
My doctor changed my asthma medication around December because my cough wasn't getting any better and my cough started around October. I also have a feeling that I am so radioactive right now because she has asked me to get chest x-rays almost every month. But for her last request, I did not have the tests done. I also refused to buy and take the new bout of antibiotics she prescribed. I just changed my inhaler.
The good news is that my cough has cleared with the new inhaler. The bad news is that I still have a cold, plus fever. So I went back to the doctor's office this afternoon, and I was prescribed again with antibiotics.
I hate getting sick. Yes, I don't shell out anything for the laboratory tests and doctors' consultation, but these medicines that are prescribed take almost half of my salary. I did not buy the antibiotics. I will just stuff myself with calamansi juice until this cold clears and my fever goes away.
It was with some pride that I lost thirty pounds and four dress sizes around May to June of this year. I was able to keep the pounds off the latter part of the year, but when my asthma attacks came back, I started gaining weight again. I guess it's because of all the steroids that are in the drugs that I am taking that is making me gain weight. Plus the stresses of my job. So, I have now gained back those thirty pounds that I have lost.
My doctor changed my asthma medication around December because my cough wasn't getting any better and my cough started around October. I also have a feeling that I am so radioactive right now because she has asked me to get chest x-rays almost every month. But for her last request, I did not have the tests done. I also refused to buy and take the new bout of antibiotics she prescribed. I just changed my inhaler.
The good news is that my cough has cleared with the new inhaler. The bad news is that I still have a cold, plus fever. So I went back to the doctor's office this afternoon, and I was prescribed again with antibiotics.
I hate getting sick. Yes, I don't shell out anything for the laboratory tests and doctors' consultation, but these medicines that are prescribed take almost half of my salary. I did not buy the antibiotics. I will just stuff myself with calamansi juice until this cold clears and my fever goes away.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Healing Heart, Mind and Soul
It's been quite a few months since I last made any entries here in my blog. Not that it would matter though since I would have written something insane then. I have been busy purging myself of loneliness and depression and I guess staying away from the internet has helped in a bit because I was able to go out with friends and make myself whole again.
It is safe to say that I have now healed myself of the demons that have plagued me last year. It has been hell-like, the past year. But I believe that things happen for a reason. I now understand why things have to happen, and that even if I got hurt I guess it was the only way life could show me that I needed to get out of a meaningless and abusive relationship.
I have now found someone new who hopefully will become a permanent fixture in my life. It is nice to dream dreams again and hear promises of forever. I am now again able to dream, hope and work on my life as I see how it should be.
It is safe to say that I have now healed myself of the demons that have plagued me last year. It has been hell-like, the past year. But I believe that things happen for a reason. I now understand why things have to happen, and that even if I got hurt I guess it was the only way life could show me that I needed to get out of a meaningless and abusive relationship.
I have now found someone new who hopefully will become a permanent fixture in my life. It is nice to dream dreams again and hear promises of forever. I am now again able to dream, hope and work on my life as I see how it should be.
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